Alright, have you ever made something for dinner that you immediately regretted sharing, because everyone wanted seconds and there were tragically zero leftovers for lunch the next day? Yeah, that’s these Crack Burgers. The first time I whipped these up, it was on a weirdly rainy Saturday (I think I had planned to grill, but it was a no-go—cheers British weather). My husband still talks about that day as if it’s a major household holiday. Also, there’s just something about the smell of sizzling beef and crispy cheese wafting through the house that gets everyone—cat included—lurking suspiciously close to the kitchen.
Why I Find Myself Making These Again and Again
I throw these together when I want a dinner that isn’t fussy but tastes like I secretly ordered out (spoiler: my kids have tried to guess the hidden fast-food chain). My family goes absolutely bonkers for these, especially since you can jazz ‘em up with whatever you’ve got kicking around the fridge. I’ll admit, shaping the patties used to drive me a little mad—either too thin, or half falling apart, but now… eh, it’s a burger, not a sculpture, right?
Here’s What You’ll Need (And What You Maybe Don’t)
- 500g ground beef (honestly, any beef works but I like 80/20 for juiciness—my gran swears by her local butcher, but supermarket stuff is just fine)
- 1 packet ranch seasoning (sometimes I’ll mix my own with dried herbs if I’m feeling fancy—or just out of packets)
- 100g shredded cheddar cheese (swap for Monterey Jack, or use whatever’s lingering in the fridge—once used blue cheese but that was…interesting)
- 4 burger buns (Brioche if I’m feeling posh, but standard white rolls do the trick—I’ve even used sandwich bread, don’t @ me)
- 4 slices crispy bacon, chopped (leave out to go meat-lite, or use turkey bacon if you must)
- 2 tablespoons mayo (regular, light, or tangy little homemade version with a dash of mustard)
- 1 tablespoon hot sauce (totally optional, my kids veto it, but I sneak a bit into mine)
- Pickles, lettuce, tomato, whatever toppings float your boat
Here’s How I Do It — Roughly
- Mix the Beef: In a big-ish bowl, dump your beef, ranch seasoning, half your cheese, and bacon. Use your hands, just don’t overmix it—unless you like a tougher burger (I’ve learned this the hard way; gentle is better).
- Shape Patties: Split the mix into four balls, then squish into patties a bit larger than your buns (mine always shrink more than I expect, so I go a bit overboard).
- Cook ‘Em Up: Heat a nonstick pan or griddle over medium-high. A dash of oil if it’s lean beef. Cook patties for about 3-4 mins per side. When you flip, pile the rest of the cheese on top. Cover pan with a lid or, if you’re like me and can’t find it, any awkwardly large plate will do—helps the cheese melt super fast (yes, it sometimes gets a bit messy; that’s half the fun).
- Toast Buns: Split and toast your buns face-down in a dry pan for a minute or two. Or skip it if you’re in a rush—it still tastes great.
- Assemble: Slather the buns with mayo (and hot sauce, or ketchup for picky eaters), pop your cheesy patty on, throw on pickles, lettuce, tomato or whatever else deserves a spot. Squish down gently—burger mountain!
If I Can Offer a Few Notes (From Trial and, uh, Error)
- Don’t skimp on the seasoning. Once I forgot the ranch packet; my kids nearly staged a mutiny.
- Putting cheese inside the patty is my not-so-secret hack. It makes for those dreamy melty pockets.
- If your patties fall apart, chill them for 15 min pre-cooking. Or, honestly, just call it a sloppy joe and move on.
Things I’ve Tried—Some Hit, Some Miss
- Added jalapeños for heat. Loved it! (Well, except my son, who fished them out.)
- Turkey mince instead of beef. Not bad, but you’ll need extra cheese and maybe a smidge of butter.
- Once swapped ranch for French onion soup mix—too salty, not for me, but maybe you’ll dig it?
Do You Need Fancy Tools? Honestly, Not Really
I use my old cast iron skillet; sometimes the nonstick if the skillet’s hiding. No burger press? Try pressing with a tin-can lid (thoroughly washed, obviously). Or just squish with your palms. Grilling outside is ace when the weather behaves, otherwise, hob it is!
What About Leftovers?
Just pop extras in an airtight container in the fridge. They’ll keep for 2 days, but, honestly, mine rarely last more than a few hours. They reheat nicely in the air fryer if you’ve got one (for tips, check out these burger reheat tips from Serious Eats). Or microwave for 30 seconds, which is less perfect, but totally fine.
How I Like to Serve These
Chips (the potato kind, not crisps) on the side, a pile of pickles, maybe some coleslaw if I’m feeling like a domestic god. If my cousin’s round, she insists we add pineapple slices (I mock her, but it’s oddly tasty). Summer evenings, we take it outside with a cold beer—classic. Oh—fries in the burger? Totally allowed in my house.
Things I Wish I’d Known (And Now You Do!)
- Do NOT rush the cheese-melting step. Tried it once—end up with sad, cold cheese sliding off.
- Keep the heat medium-high, not blast furnace. I once charred the outside and had raw middles; not my best moment.
- Always rest the patties for a minute after cooking, or the juices go everywhere except where you want ‘em.
Here’s What People (Actually) Ask Me
- “Can I freeze these burgers?”
- Yeah, totally! Just freeze the raw patties, separated by baking paper. Defrost overnight. Cook as normal. I’ve frozen cooked ones too but they tend to get a bit drier—still fine for a midnight snack though.
- “Do I have to use ranch?”
- Nope, it’s just what makes it extra tasty. Any herby seasoning you love works. (Hey, if you’ve got a great alternative, send it my way!)
- “Why are they called Crack Burgers?”
- Short answer: they’re crazy addictive. Not, you know, illegal—just that you’ll keep making ‘em, trust me.
- “Can I make this vegetarian?”
- Yep, use a plant-based mince. My friend went full veggie and said it worked a treat. Probably extra seasoning wouldn’t hurt, though.
- “How spicy is this?”
- Not really unless you pile on the hot sauce. My mum’s a spice-phobe and loves it.
- “Is there an actual crack burger chain?”
- Not around here, but if you want professional burger inspo, check Bon Appetit’s burger tips.
So, there you have it—the burger that’s both my go-to and my downfall when it comes to eating sensibly. And, just between us, if you stash one in the fridge behind the broccoli, it’ll probably last until lunch. Unless someone else discovers my hiding spot again. Good luck, mate!
Ingredients
- 1 1/2 lbs ground beef (80/20 blend)
- 1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese
- 1/4 cup cooked bacon, crumbled
- 2 tbsp ranch seasoning mix
- 1/4 cup mayonnaise
- 1 tbsp hot sauce
- 4 burger buns
- 1/2 cup sliced pickles
- Salt and black pepper to taste
Instructions
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1In a large bowl, combine the ground beef, shredded cheddar cheese, crumbled bacon, ranch seasoning, salt, and black pepper. Mix gently until just combined.
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2Form the mixture into 4 equal-sized burger patties.
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3Preheat a grill or skillet to medium-high heat. Cook the patties for 4–5 minutes per side, or until cooked through and nicely browned.
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4In a small bowl, mix together the mayonnaise and hot sauce to make a spicy burger sauce.
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5Toast the burger buns if desired. Spread the spicy sauce on the buns, then add the cooked burger patties. Top with sliced pickles before serving.
Approximate Information for One Serving
Nutrition Disclaimers
Number of total servings shown is approximate. Actual number of servings will depend on your preferred portion sizes.
Nutritional values shown are general guidelines and reflect information for 1 serving using the ingredients listed, not including any optional ingredients. Actual macros may vary slightly depending on specific brands and types of ingredients used.
To determine the weight of one serving, prepare the recipe as instructed. Weigh the finished recipe, then divide the weight of the finished recipe (not including the weight of the container the food is in) by the desired number of servings. Result will be the weight of one serving.
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