Let Me Tell Ya About This Life-Saver (My Not-So-Classic Pizza Pie)

Okay, quick confession—I’m one of those people who somehow burns toast but can whip up a killer crustless pizza pie with, get this, 53 grams of protein per serving. Wild, right? This beauty came from my quest for a real pizza taste without a floury mess (also, the gym literally scares me, so I hunt for protein wherever I can hide it!). First time I made it, my cheese got a bit too brown and the dog started pacing from the lovely wafting smells. I, um, also ate half before anyone else got home (not my proudest moment… or maybe it was). Anyway, let’s get into it before I ramble about my love/hate relationship with pizza.

Why You’ll Love This Even If You’re Skeptical

I make this when I’ve promised myself “no more takeout” (usually a promise broken by Friday, if I’m honest) or when my brother swings by for dinner—he goes for seconds, sometimes thirds. The high protein makes it feel hearty as anything, and you don’t miss the crust, though my cousin did once try to sneak in a slice of bread on the side (frowned upon, but, you do you!). Plus, it comes together pretty quickly; not to mention, no sticky dough on your fingers. The only minor heartbreak? When I ran out of mozzarella once and tried using cottage cheese—nah, wouldn’t recommend unless you’re after a real texture roulette.

Ingredients (And Substitutes For When You Forgot Something!)

4 large eggs (I use free-range if I can, but honestly, any will do)
400g (about 14 oz) low-fat cottage cheese (Greek yogurt works okay in a pinch, but it’s a tad tangier)
200g cooked chicken breast, shredded (Turkey also works—I’ve used leftover roast chicken too, though that sometimes comes with its own “mystery flavors”)
100g mozzarella cheese, grated (When I’m feeling fancy, I do half mozzarella, half cheddar. Grated by hand or pre-grated, whatever’s easier)
50g turkey pepperoni or regular pepperoni slices (Or skip if you’re not into it—I’ve swapped in sautéed mushrooms once when I felt virtuous)
1 small bell pepper, diced (Red, green, yellow—depends what’s rolling around in the fridge)
2 tbsp tomato paste (Ketchup does in a bind, but let’s not make a habit of it!)
1 tsp dried oregano (Never measured this exactly, but my hand knows)
½ tsp garlic powder
Pinch of salt and pepper
A handful of fresh basil (if you’ve got it—otherwise dried is fine, or skip entirely)

How I Actually Throw This Together

Preheat your oven to 200°C (about 400°F). If it doesn’t roar like mine, give it a bit longer—or just wait until you vaguely remember it’s been heating up for a while.
Lightly grease a 9-inch baking dish or pie plate (I sometimes use a cake tin because I can’t ever find the actual pie dish).
In a big bowl, whisk the eggs until they’re all bubbly and sunshine yellow. Then add the cottage cheese, mixing until it’s smoother (it still looks kinda lumpy—don’t panic, that’s normal).
Stir in shredded chicken, half of the mozzarella, bell pepper, half the pepperoni, tomato paste, oregano, garlic powder, salt and pepper. Chuck in the basil if you have any. Give everything a good mix, but I always find a rogue bit of chicken at the bottom, so check for that.
Pour the mixture into your prepared baking dish. Scatter on the rest of the mozzarella and top with the final round of pepperoni (or mushroom, or—gasp—pineapple if you’re cheeky). This is where I sometimes eat a slice of pepperoni because why not?
Bake uncovered for 30–35 minutes or until the center is set and top is golden and bubbly. If it’s a little wobbly, that’s okay; it’ll firm up as it cools. Sometimes I under-bake it and just call it a “quiche” to cover my tracks.
Let it cool for 10 minutes (if you can wait—sometimes I can’t and end up with a molten cheese tongue burn, oops). Slice, serve, and marvel at your (probably slightly messy) creation!

Notes: Stuff I Learned the Hard Way

Once, I forgot to grease the dish and half the pie stuck—don’t do this unless you fancy scraping for dinner.
If you use all cheddar, it gets super rich, like, almost too much, so stick with a blend or just mozzarella.
I used to add more tomato paste but realized less is more here (too much and it gets almost soup-like).

How I’ve Gone Off-Menu

Swapped out chicken for smoked tofu (pretty good, honestly—just amp up the seasonings).
One time, did a “Hawaiian” version with pineapple—tasted fine, though my uncle said it was “confusing.” That’s a fair review I think.
Tried to make it with smoked salmon and dill once—nope, not recommending that. Some things are best left to brunch.

Gadgets & Gear: But You Don’t Need It All

I use a non-stick pie dish most days, but when I stayed over at my mate Dave’s place and all we found was a roasting tin, well, it did the job. Don’t get trapped by what the recipe says—just use something oven-safe and roughly the right size!

Keeping It Fresh (Or Not)

Supposedly, this keeps in the fridge for up to 3 days, tightly wrapped. But honestly, in my house, if it survives overnight without someone nabbing a midnight snack, it’s a miracle. Still, pop leftovers in an airtight container if you’re somehow blessed with self-control.

How We Serve It (Not That Fancy)

I love it with a tangle of arugula or rocket on the side—nice contrast to the cheese, you know? My sister likes hers cold, straight form the fridge, a pizza pie brick. And sometimes I sneak a quick bit with sriracha for a kick (you do you, mate).

Things I’ve Messed Up That You Don’t Have To

Don’t rush the cooling—one time I was too impatient, sliced in, and it kind of fell apart (still tasted smashing, though).
Mix the filling well—any sneaky egg pockets will cook weirdly and make stuff a bit rubbery. Learned that the odd way.
Keep an eye on the oven after 25 minutes; some ovens go rogue.

I’ve Actually Gotten These Questions (Mostly from My Mum)

Can I make this dairy free? Sorta—swap cottage cheese for a dairy-free alternative and use your fave vegan cheese. I actually prefer the dairy version, but hey, my mate loves it vegan.
Is it really pizza if there’s no crust? Look, is a chip sandwich really a sandwich? Sometimes it’s the spirit that counts. It tastes pizza-ish enough!
Can I prep it ahead? Definitely. Mix everything, bung it in the fridge, then bake when you’re hungry.
My pie fell apart! Oh, join the club. As long as it’s cooked and cheesy, just call it a casserole (or act like it was on purpose).
Can I freeze it? I’ve tried, but it goes a bit watery when thawed. Not my fave, but doable.

And before I forget, ever notice how pizza brings people together—even crustless, slightly odd variations like this? It’s no Michelin meal, but it sure hugs the belly. Cheers to that, and here’s hoping your pie stays in one piece (or that you at least have a good laugh if it doesn’t)!

53g Protein Crustless Pizza Pie